Rhythm of Life Volume 3

the Rhythm of Life is published weekly by David A. Johnson. -=-=-=-= E-Mail Dave: rhythmofdave at aol dot com -=-=-=-=-=-=- AIM Screen Name: d0johns1

VOLUME 3 ISSUE 3 IS QUITE POSSIBLY THE BEST ISSUE EVER WRITTEN! CLICK ON THE LINK ABOVE TO READ TRIALS, TRIBULATIONS, AND TRAVERSE CITY AND DECIDE FOR YOURSELF!

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Dating at Work

April 11, 204

whenever I think of dangers at work, as a teacher, I think spitwads, I think flying pencils, dropping books, and sarcastic 13 year olds. Then I factor in students and suddenly I’ve got myself thinking “Holy shit…why did I go to college for this?” Then I have great days that make me say “I love my chosen profession.” In fact, after almost a year of doing it full time, I can say I’ve only had 1 day I want to write off. One of the things however, I never considered a danger, until I actually sat down and thought about it was dating at work.

Lets start with Jake. Jake’s been made mention of before, but I haven’t dedicated a substantial chunk of a Rhythm of Life to him just yet. That all changes this week. Jake works at a trendy Kalamazoo department store, where life has given him supervisor status, and full time employment with benefits. Life has also chosen to bestow upon him a dating at work story.

A few months ago, said Department Store was looking for a new store manager. What happened next? A beautiful young woman was hired, and it is from there that our story picks up.

Now that Dave and Kara are out of the weekly hang out picture, Jake and Nick have found a new circle to occupy their time. I won’t have time to be jealous about this until June when school lets out, and by that point I’ll be down crashing on Jake’s stylish couch so it won’t matter. Jake’s new drinking circle includes several people from his job. They have parties, they go out, they have fun. Screw June, now I’m Jealous.

At one particular party, Jake was talking to Amy, the new store manager, and learned they’re around the same age. Talking lead to kissing, and kissing led to Jake calling me the next day going “I made out with the new boss” (Sung to the tune of Nyah Nyah Nyah Nyah Nyah Nyah)

It was around that time that I started thinking about the repercussions of that age old question…should people date at work? I did some research courtesy of the Google pop up blocker tool bar on my Internet Explorer window and found something startling. More than 1/3 of Americans ages 21-35 meet their future spouses at the workplace! It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out why that statistic is true. Americans are a nation of workaholics.

Jake and Amy had two more make out sessions before they officially called themselves an item. It was around that time when I received my next call from Jake. Apparently, said department store has a policy against dating at work…especially amongst the high ranking people and their minions. While Jake is at a ranking level of seniority, Amy’s was obviously higher.

So theirs was a forbidden love. While after hours they’d make out like high school students past curfew, during the day it was strictly business…

…until people started finding out. Nick will always know what goes on, because Nick is one of Jake’s best friends, but more and more staffers began to see the two of them hanging out together, and after hearing about the famous make out session that started it all, they put two and two together and the rumors started flying.

Finally, Jake and Amy sat down to have a little talk about what was happening. Jake liked Amy, Amy liked Jake, and all should be right with the world. Unfortunately however, Jake and Amy mutually decided they should break up before things got bad and they were threatened with the choice to either “break up or ship out” by corporate office. They both decided it was the thing to do, and just as quickly as they had started, they were off again.

I learned this while in New Era helping my mom build some furniture in her new house. Jake was supposed to come to Cadillac with Amy in tow to meet and greet the family of friends who had left Kalamazoo due to the stale teaching job market down there. Kara called me however, and informed me that Jake was probably going to need some cheering up, as the two of them had just broken up.

Countless people entered my apartment that night. At one point I’d say there were close to 25 people there, and while my apartment is big, it’s not set up for entertaining mass quantities of people. When there was a lull in the action however, I finally had enough Alcohol to ask Jake what had happened, as I didn’t know the reasoning behind their breakup.

Jake told me, and immediately I felt bad for him. He’s a friend for crying out loud, and I hate seeing friends depressed about anything! Jake put on his good party face however, and we all had a great time hanging out like we were back in college again.

It was only a few days later that I received word that Jake and Amy were back together again. When asked for the reasoning, they decided they wanted to make it work, and that they were going to keep it secret this time. They had made their breakup public, and people were actually beginning to focus on other things.

So now that Jake is living a double life he can’t tell anyone about, I began to ask my friends if they had ever dated anyone at work before.

We all remember Kara’s little exploit of dating at work…and if you don’t, check back to the first volume of Rhythm of Life because it’s a doozy. “The Dominator” Zeke was the only other one who had anything for me. He dated a girl at his job and things ended sourly a few weeks before he was going to propose. That’s left him a little screwed up in the head, and made things uncomfortable for him at work.

That’s when it hit me…relationships at work CAN be bad if they’re not tempered correctly. If people date their co workers, and things don’t work out, there’s going to be some frustration involved between them, possibly ill feelings, and that can make work an uncomfortable place. When you’re in college doing minimum wage jobs, you have an easy out…those jobs are a dime a dozen. When you’re post college, in your mid twenties and starting your career, it could be the kiss of death should things not work out. Here’s a little tidbit I stole from an article by Ian McNeice at topdatingtips.com:

Little by little, the person rapidly exiting your life becomes not a delightful interlude but a major distraction in the office, someone to focus not kind thoughts but someone you can harbor doubts about. Your best friend is told the details and soon everyone knows. In other words, your relationship has become the office gossip whether you realize it or not. Then we get divided loyalties, the boss's awareness of something wrong. They are minor distractions but they are still relevant. The problem with office romances is that the object of your affections and possible later disdain is always right under your nose. You don't have the option of disassociation or space, and thereby hangs the real danger.

The problem with dating at work is that you are bringing powerful emotions to bear in a place that is your safe haven from everything emotional. The place where you can hide, is now the place where you are most at risk. There is only one answer to the question of whether you should sate at work. DON'T. Whilst the guy by the coffee machine may be cute, I believe that your salary, career, stability and peace of mind are a great deal more important. We all take chances in life, but as any gambler will tell you, only gamble what you can afford to lose. And dating at work is an incalculable risk. (www.topdatingstories.com)

So the only way I could truly add to this story, was to attempt it myself. “The Girl” as I’ll refer to her as, teaches seventh grade in my school. She’s 27, has a Masters in Educational Leadership, and at some point in the near future, might just apply for the principalship coming open at the end of next year.

We’ve been on two dates, not counting line dancing lessons, and have had fun on both of them. The second one involved dinner and a movie. We talked about work for awhile, then moved in to our families. Halfway through the movie (Who would have thought Ethan Hawke and Angelina Jolie would have SHITTY chemistry in a movie together!) my mind began to wander towards what could go wrong with this. If we broke up, she’s right down the hall. It could lead to sides being taken, lines drawn, and loss of support come scheduling next year.

But then I thought to myself, don’t you deserve a little happy? What if things worked out? It would mean stability, it would mean happiness, it would mean not having to say I’m single and making ill fated voyages to bars in the hopes of meeting someone halfway interesting. It would also mean I might get to see more of Kara because her relationship with her new beau is getting SEE-REE-US!

In the end I decided to let whatever wants to happen, happen. I understand Jake and Amy’s relationship a little more now, because they want to be together, rules of the store be damned. Dave and “The Girl” might have a future, we might not. I might have another dating at work chapter, but for now, I say to hell with the dangers, I want some happy.