Not just another pretty face...
WELCOME TO THE NEW HOME OF RHYTHM OF LIFE ON THE WEB
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VOLUME ONE |
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VOLUME TWO |
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VOLUME FOUR ISSUE 1 ISSUE 2 ISSUE 3 ISSUE 4 ISSUE 5 ISSUE 6 ISSUE 7 ISSUE 8 ISSUE 9 ISSUE 10 ISSUE 11 ISSUE 12 |
Rhythm of life is published weekly on Sundays by David A. Johnson.
VOLUMNE 4 ISSUE 2
THE VACATION
| Roughly one year ago, I wrote to you about Kara and Jed, and how they
went on a road trip and discovered things about each other, and how
that brought about the eventual decline of their relationship. My theory,
which I didn't publish at the time, but thought about often in the days
that followed their rocky conclusion, was that a vacation together could
signal the end of a relationship, if it wasn't planned just perfectly. Since that time, Kara has been on numerous weekends with her new beau, Justin, who after hanging out with only once, I deemed acceptable enough to be dating my "little sister" as it were. But weekend excursions do not a vacation make, which is why, after only two months of dating, everyone thought it was a bit odd that Stacey and I would be headed to Washington DC for five days. Here's the backstory: On my last day of school, I received a call from a woman at our Intermediate School District. Said woman was one of the directors, hence a big shot, one who always ran the professional development opportunities. This woman had just taken a second job and was wondering if I would be interested in helping her out with it. I asked the usual questions: What do I have to do? How much money do I get. The thing was, she didn't have any answers for me. I did say however, that from the little she could detail, it seemed like a good job prospect, something I could add to my already expanding resume, and decided that I would do it, just like that. Sight unseen. The kicker comes now. After accepting, she suddenly could detail numerous aspects of the job, including a yearly, all expenses paid trip to Washington D.C. Could I leave in two weeks? Could I leave in two weeks? Could I leave in two weeks? I could absolutely leave in two weeks. I immediately called everyone I had ever met, and told them my way cool new job included free travel. When I reached Stacey, she kicked something else my way that I hadn't thought of myself. "Well…why don't I go with you?" Without even thinking, I said yes. After all, what's the harm in spending five days together complete with planes, trains, and automobiles? Plenty, I would find out later from Kara. Kara said what I thought last summer, that vacations that early in a relationship, might not be the best way to go. Still, I began to realize that I'm not Kara, and I'm not usually in a relationship that goes this well. Her parents deemed me acceptable, my mom deemed her acceptable, and all my strange little hermit quirks seem to be things she likes about me, which is interesting because they've been the downfall of relationships past. So the day of the trip arrived, and I hauled my ass out of bed around 5 a.m., a time I swore I wouldn't see again until August when school started. I piled my luggage into her car, and off we were, throwing all cautions from friends to the wind. We reached Gerald Ford International Airport, got on our plane, and instantly, for no reason whatsoever, doubts began creeping into my head. Was this the right idea? Were we making a terrible mistake? What if things went sour and we ended up having to sleep in the same hotel room while amidst a rather large fight? Two transfers later, we arrived at the Ronald Reagan Airport in Washington D.C. It's a nice airport, as republican institutions go, but the distance from home seemed to be about the size of the gap I was drawing between myself and Stacey at this point. I was tired from the trip, and the prospect of conferences all day wasn't helping me relax, unwind, and enjoy this totally awesome city with my girlfriend. About two hours after checking in, I had taken a nap and a shower, and was putting on dress clothes for the reception in the banquet hall. It was there that I was introduced to my new boss, we'll call him Mr. James, and the scores of new Michigan Employees in what was an international civic education initiative. I began meeting people from all the congressional districts in Michigan. The one to which I was assigned was District 4, which means, I oversee program operations in all the county school districts using our textbook within Michigan Congressional District 4. The ones I befriended, Miriam, Doug, Ray, Patty, and Seti, were all amazing people I feel incredibly lucky to have met and networked with. When the reception ended, I stumbled back up to my room slightly woozy and very exhausted. I fell onto my bed and proceeded to sleep through the night and almost through my alarm the next morning. Seeing many spouses with no affiliations to the organization at the reception, I felt bad that I hadn't brought Stacey with me, but I couldn't possibly have known that it was alright. Stacey was up with me, though she would head back to bed when I left. I felt positively awful for being so distant the day before, but didn't exactly know how to approach it with her. She brought it up. "Less grumpy today?" She asked me. I nodded. "I'm really sorry, I just don't travel well." It was a half truth, I didn't travel well, but part of it was my own nagging fear that this whole trip was a test I wasn't quite ready to take yet. I kissed her goodbye, in a very typical "Business man kisses his wife before going out to bring home the bacon" manner and I suddenly felt quite good. Here was a wonderful woman willing to follow me to our nations capital with almost no time to spend with her, just for some moments with me. I felt like an asshole. Stacey wasn't Megan, Psycho Herpes Chick, or any of the other numerous previous failed relationships I had found myself in, in years past. Stacey was completely different, and I needed to get over my previous insecurities if I was going to make this a go. A fact that was amplified back to me by Miriam and Patty over lunch. They had yet to meet Stacey, but after learning that she and I had traveled all this way together, after only three months of dating, they felt that she was definitely something to look even closer at. So I wasn't surprised when they asked me if the two of us would like to accompany them sightseeing that night. After a day full of conferences that anyone except for me would find boring (I was captivated from the moment I walked into breakout session 1) I walked back up to my room, ready to change into my bumming around clothes and tell Stacey we were headed out for a night on the town. Unfortunately, Stacey had gone shopping. She left me a note on my pillow "Dave, gone shopping be back before 4. XOXO Stacey." That was fine, as we weren't scheduled to depart until 4:30. As it got closer to the time however, I got antsy. I wanted to hang with my new friends, but I also really wanted to spend time with Stacey. The only way I could do both was if she walked through that door within the next five minutes. I immediately wished for a million dollar check to be delivered to my door within the next 30 seconds, as Stacey wandered in looking positively exhausted. She had walked all around the capital and seen some wonderful sights. When asked to do it all over again however, she could have said "No, I'm exhausted." Instead, she smiled said "let me grab some Tylenol" and instants later, we were out the door. Another good sign if you ask me. The sights downtown were simply amazing. The Mall, with all the monuments is a sight not to be missed. We wandered freely with our group, also joined by Seti, and walked for miles around various monuments, taking pictures, and feeling incredibly lucky to be surrounded by new friends, and old. After that, we all went out for dinner. Our waitress ignored us, the food was terrible, and we paid an arm and a leg for the meal, but the time was well spent, as Stacey was brought into the circle and made to feel at home. We walked back to the hotel and proceeded to crash, as I began to learn some "Stacey-isms" as she called them. She says things sometimes that just strike me as funny, even though I know exactly what she's saying. When I'm ready to turn out the light she says "Just a minute, let me turn my book on" which translated, means "I've got a book light, let me find it first." Me however, I'm obnoxious. If I can't fall instantly asleep I usually get the giggles. No one's ever around to hear them, but Stacey is at this point, so she gets to witness several "Dave-isms" They didn't irritate either one of us. Another good sign if you ask me. The next day was my meeting on capital hill with my Senator. I was nervous as all get out, especially at the fact that I had to make a presentation on an organization I had just joined, and knew very little about. And something happened. On my way out, she tied my tie for me. No one's ever done that before. I've been tying my own tie for as long as I can remember, but as it sat there around my neck waiting for me, she jumped up and did it for me. The gap I had created on the day of our arrival shrank even further, and I felt wonderful as she walked with me to the Cannon Senate Office Building, where I was to meet my senator and discuss how wonderful this program was for kids. The meeting was a disaster. I was nervous, kept forgetting facts and things I was supposed to mention. I mentioned one thing four times making it seem like I was completely incompetent, and worst of all, I was sweating. I wasn't just sweating "I just walked up the hill in a suit in 90 degree weather" sweat, oh hell no. I was sweating "I'm a disgusting pig who is so out of shape I'm going to give everyone in the room a shower." Sweat. To cap it all off, as I was handed business cards and shooed away, I realized I had left my business cards back at the hotel. If Senator Camp ever sees my name on his appointment list again, I'm sure I'll be told "He had a meeting that's going to run later than expected. Come back never." None of it mattered however. At the reception that night on capital hill, I grazed the buffet with the interns and networked some more. One of the interns from Camps office did show up and applauded me on my wonderful presentation, while scarfing down free food as we had been told Interns would. Jackass. I don't kiss ass every day and make minimum wage. We took taxis back to the hotel, courtesy of the organization, and Stacey was waiting for me. We watched Spiderman on the television before calling it a night. One final thing actually. Before actually calling it a night, I decided to invite her down for breakfast the next day. She joined me and Seti, Miriam, and Patty went on and on about how wonderful she was, both during and after the breakfast when she had left. Seti took me aside and said that while she hadn't known me very long, she could tell that this was a good match, and that she had a good feeling about it. So I decided to take a chance. I explained to her over lunch that day, exactly why I had been so "grumpy" on the first day. I explained many of the things from the previous article, and asked her, what bugs her about this relationship. "Not a whole lot really. I'm a little more mushy then you are, all girls are after all." A noted argument, one flaw I knew of for sure. I told her I'd never been in a relationship long enough to get to that sort of thing, and that it was alien to me. A complete truth. "Kids. I want them some day." And up until this relationship, I had too, but something about the past year had changed me. I had seen some wonderful examples of what a parent should be through my students. I had also seen some horrible ones. I didn't want to become the latter, so I had made a decision at some point, that kids were not in my future. But could they be some day? I didn't know the answer then, and now, two months later looking back on the experience while writing this article, I still don't. But if that was all that was wrong with the relationship in her eyes, that was good enough for me. Apparently, without even trying, I had been doing things mostly right. As we walked back to the hotel, for me to attend the final conferences, I took her hand in mine and leapt a hurdle. The journey home the next day was abysmal. Our flight out of Chicago was over an hour late boarding, and then sat on the runway for another two hours waiting for takeoff. We almost got sideswiped on our drive back from Grand Rapids, and both of us had to use the bathroom so badly, that we scared the shit out of my cat racing up the stairs to my apartment at 11 p.m. at night and throwing open the door in our desperate race to be the first to the can. But when all is said and done, I don't think vacations together are death to a relationship. I think vacations together are the death of a bad relationship, something I'm obviously not in. When two people like each other enough after only a few months to up the ante a little bit, it deserves the best shot you can give it. In the end, if there was something there before you left, it'll be there when you get back.
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